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The Baron is a lot more in your face than Manannan or the Lady. He talks louder (and cruder 😉 ) than them, and has no compunctions about leading me about by the nose. So, when I did not pay attention this afternoon and went where I should not have, he got tetchy.

I locked my keys in my car (first time in 4 years). Ok, go find some wire. No wire at 2 stores. Went to third store. Got coat hanger. Untwisted it. Breaks. That’s ok, I’ll just use the other ends. There are no other ends (crossbar is useless cardboard tube). Try anyway. Drop in first piece. Cuss. Try with string and second piece. Drop in second piece. Cuss louder. No one I ask has the right shape of key to jimmy the back. Sweat mightily (90 somethings today, no breeze, and I’m really susceptible to heat while on chemo). Give up, call father and boyfriend. Give instructions, wait out on street. Realize that I mixed up street names but figure, what the hell, I’m standing out front anyway, I’ll flag them in. Wait. Wait. Wait. Stare at toes. Wait. Remind myself for umpteenth time to buy new shoes. Wait. Wait. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt! Brrrrrrrrrrrt!

Father and boyfriend in wrong spot with exact same street names (fuck you, city planning commission), after deciding to come in completely opposite direction from home (………). Much juggling of phone and swearing ensues. They’re on their way again. Ok. I see them. Wave arms like demented flight coordinator. They’re here! With a proper coat hanger! And get it open in about 3 seconds! Wheeeeeee motherfucking Eeeeeeeeee!

I get the message, loud and clear. Nothing terribly, horrendously wrong, just a whole heap of shit at once that started with a clear omen-y sign. Easily fixable, but tiring (and it will be years, if ever, before my father let’s me hear the end of it). So, to make amends (and clear up any funk I still have floating about), tonight I’m going to oil up the Baron’s oversized love stick and let it burn all night long.

Sorta.

 

Vastly oversized taper is phallic, yes? Now to wait til it cools off, so the fan doesn’t blow hot wax everywhere…..

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